Posted by: Joe | January 30, 2007


As of right…NOW…I have 104 hours left with my current employer.

Not that I’m counting.

I handed in my resignation 10 days ago. And in typical fashion they’re trying to wring every drop of blood they can from this stone. 4 bloody weeks notice. It’s inhuman.

Needless to say, my heart’s not exactly in it. Instead of being remotely productive, like I might be if they had waived the notice period to say, 2 or even 3 weeks, my mind is wandering to different ways of getting them to walk me to the door.

So far I’ve come up with:

  • Set up a martini bar — in my cube.
  • Two words: No. Pants.
  • Perform my own version of “Will It Blend?” with various office objects
  • Play Biz Markie’s cover of “Take This Job And Shove It” over and over. If that doesn’t work, sing along, loudly.
  • Step 1 – Steal Underpants. Step 2 – ???. Step 3 – Profit!
  • Sell all the office chairs on Ebay.
  • Tape two paper cones from the water cooler to my chest, and sing Material Girl into a stapler all day.


  1. This is too good to resist :-)

    Other tactics that work:

    1) Order a stripper for the CEO and have her jump out of a cake.

    2) Hire a male stripper for the cake.

    3) Remove all the screws and fasteners from office and watch the place fall apart.

    4) Wear a box on your head with a smiley face drawn on it. When questioned bark like a chicken.

    5) Refer to yourself in the third-person during conversations. Constantly sprinkle conversation with ‘Joe’s getting angry now’. It worked for George Costanza :-)

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