Posted by: Joe | June 19, 2007

I feel like I’m in a Kraft commercial

I have this one sandwich that I really like, and it’s something that I generally fall back on when I don’t feel like cooking. The whole wheat bread must be perfectly toasted, with Miracle Whip on both slices. Then lettuce, followed by slices of ripe tomato, liberally seasoned with salt and freshly ground pepper. Next a slice of Havarti, and more lettuce before putting on the top slice of bread. It’s very simple, but it’s my favorite and it’s important (verging on OCD) that it’s right.

So I’m making my sandwich tonight, I reach into the fridge for the Miracle Whip and the bottle isn’t there. I had used up the last of it before going to the cottage for the weekend. Crap! CRAPCRAPCRAP!!!!

I actually vocalized that.

What am I going do? I can’t go to the store, the toast will get cold. I can’t re-toast afterwards because then it will be overly toasted, and I can’t bring myself to throw away perfectly good toast.

Frantically searching through the fridge I find….Renee’s Gourmet Sweet Onion Vinaigrette. Hmmm…intriguing.

It wasn’t *right* … but it was pretty damn good.


If you’re having a bad day (like, say, you screwed up your favorite sandwich) I have a remedy for you: Elizabeth Mitchell’s cover of DylanMarley’s “Three Little Birds”. If you can get through that entire song without smiling you are fucking dead inside.



  1. 1. Marley, not Dylan.
    2. Dan == dead inside.

  2. 1. Right, dammit!! The lesson, as always, I’m an idiot.
    2. You have no soul.

  3. I do have a soul, but it’s mainly reserved for animals. I find kids shrill and messy.

  4. […] posts songs of little girls singing cute songs…I post ICHC […]

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